When we are young children, we are an open book. Our family asks us questions, to which we freely give answers. The no-filter answers can make parents smile, laugh, blush, or cringe. 

As we grow, parents redirect us and sometimes our pure and unadulterated thoughts are squashed, which eventually leads to modern tradition and programming. We eventually lose our childlike wonder. It causes us to begin filtering our words and thoughts. It makes us less vulnerable.

I was young and unrefined and said what I fully thought, which wasn’t always the best way to approach. I had to learn what was acceptable in society, which caused me to be less vulnerable and open with others. Work situations fully caused me to shut down sometimes. No one taught me how to stand on my own. It was my own personal hell. 

As I grew into adulthood and faced adversity and disappointment, it took me awhile to grow into maturity. It seems the older I got, the less vulnerable I was and protected myself. I kept my innermost thoughts to myself and was afraid of what others might think and say about me. It allowed me some control over the situation. I hid the good and loving parts that were deep inside me. It was a defense mechanism.

Through my spiritual awakening, I have come full circle. I may never be what society considers as refined, but God’s grace allowed me to be open and have vulnerability again. I have returned to no-filter status without trying, but I now try to handle all situations through love, kindness, and compassion with boundaries as needed. Part of my journey is to allow others to see who I truly am as a 53 year old. I am becoming my best version and am a work in progress. It is a rewarding experience.

In love and His light,