As a young child, I lacked self worth and confidence. I was a normal size as a little girl, but gained weight through the years. I was short and made fun of. Clothing stores and financial resources were limited. I tried to squeeze into hand me down clothing. I admit to indulging myself in later years to purchase clothing that made me feel better about myself. Those memories stay with you. 

When kids made fun of me in school for being heavy, it was painful. To make light of it, I also made fun of myself. That pattern continued into just the last few years. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without looking away. I wanted to be slim, not be so pale, have blue eyes with long eye lashes, and other traits, like so many family and friends. I used to think others saw me exactly as I saw myself, but I know know I was projecting that image to others by negative self talk.

I wasn’t good at sports, my grades were average, and I wasn’t pretty by beauty industry standards. My self doubt caused me to lack confidence. In adult years, I became all about my job and become a workaholic and found what I considered self-worth, because I found I excelled at it. Looking back, these are things that don’t matter today and don’t reflect who I am. 

In my late 40s, my Twin Flame saw and knew the real me. He viewed me in a way I never had even considered someone could. I doubted him when he said things I had always hoped someone would say to validate me. He appreciated my smile, my green eyes, and my beauty within. It still makes my heart fill with happiness when I remember his love and kind words. He once said my confidence is part of what attracted him to me. Little did he realize, that his appreciation of me helped increase my inner confidence. 

I am grateful my twin helped me learn to love myself, although it is something I continually work on. My work and personal life are now balanced. I’m glad to say that I now accept who I am in my mid-50s. As a spiritual lightworker, I encourage each of you to always let your inner light shine, accept yourself no matter what you perceive as imperfections, and my hope is you love yourself as you wish to be loved. We don’t need others to validate us. When you can do these things honestly, your essence reflects to others. 

In love and His light,